Skulls, Skulls, Skulls, Show Me The Glory by Baby Chaos

This is the latest review written by my wonderful boyfriend and posted on a local music blog!

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After a wait of almost 17 years the Glaswegian band Baby Chaos have put aside their differences and reunited. Which is almost as long as the editor of NEMM had to wait to receive this review from me.

 (True: Ed) With Chris Gordon’s “Deckard” and “Union of Knives” projects arguably never amounting to the same level of commercial success or appreciation, the group have reunited to try and recreate the magic of 1997’s “Love Your Self Abuse” – their only release to date on a major label.

The harsh question would be whether anybody really cares? They’re nowhere near household names and there’s an argument to be made that even those old enough to remember them on the Scottish circuit the first time round have more or less moved on.

The first single from the album to be released is “You Can’t Shut Us Up” and it’s a not so…

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Wicked UK Tour (Sunderland)

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I have been dying to see Wicked for about eight years now, I even have ‘defy gravity’ tattooed on my foot so ~I was absolutely thrilled when they announced a UK tour and even more so when the cast changed and Ashleigh Gray joined as Elphaba.

The show is essentially a prequel to the Wizard of Oz, showing the story of the two witches and how one became ‘wicked’ and one became ‘good’. You’ll never look at the wicked witch of the west in the same way again, or Dorothy (I mean who steals a dead girls shoes?). Ashleigh was absolutely mind blowing as Elphaba, her vocal range during defying gravity and no good deed was sensational. You could here a pin drop during I’m not that girl, she really had the whole audience captivated. Emily Tierney captured Glinda perfectly, I’ve seen some actresses on youtube during popular and they go completely over the top trying to get laughs but she kept it just enough so it felt realistic and that Glinda was that excitable and dramatic showing off to her new best friend and project. My heart literally broke at the ending when she was in ‘the bubble’ you could visibly see the fight going on inside her head of wanting to clear Elphaba’s name but knowing she had to keep it to herself to protect the pretence; as well as the loss of her best friend and ‘ex’ fiance. The actor playing Fiyero wasn’t the best, his vocals didnt hold up against Ashleighs during ‘as long as youre mine’. I’m not 100% sure who it was as we didnt get chance to get a programme etc with the cast list. But all together it was absolutely magical, I’ve seen *ahem* bootlegs of various casts over the years and it was refreshing to be able to hear English accents although that was unusual for me at first as I am so used to listening to the Original Cast Recording with Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth but after the first song I was too engrossed and lost in the world of Oz to notice.

I absolutely LOVED it. I knew I would as the songs are amazing but I didn’t expect to be so lost in it when I already knew almost every word of the script.

If you are a wizard of oz fan or just musicals in general I’d highly recommend seeing this tour cast, I cannot praise them enough for an amazing show; the experience only slightly tarred by the fire alarm going off during the end of the bows and the theatre having to be evacuated. (I’d like to believe this was a ploy to get us out quicker, in reality probably someone smoking in the toilets or too much dry ice). An absolute MUST see and one I’d definitely see again in either London or New York if given the chance.

642 Things to Write About..

When away in Dublin earlier this week I found this absolute gem of a book in Urban Outfitters.

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Basically filled with 642 prompts and space to write for every single one. My lovely boyfriend bought it for me on the condition that I use it and fill it gradually. So I started today, with the very first one:

What Can Happen In A Second’

Life can begin and end, everything you know and love can come crashing down around you in a single second. That’s part of life, never knowing what will happen in the next second. Its terrifying when you think abut it in depth, never knowing one second what will happen in the next. But if you knew, if you had a list, a timeline of what would happen every second; who would actually read it? Would we be happier if we knew what is about to happen, every second, minute, hour, day of our lives?

I’m not 100% happy with it but its getting me writing again and I do find free writing and prompts etc to be very therapeutic and it’s only gonna make me a better writer in the long run, even if nothing ever comes of it. I enjoy it.

In other news I had a job interview with a rival company to the one I currently work for this morning (on Good Friday of all days, very weird choice of day) and it went really well so fingers crossed in the next month I’ll be out of my much hated current box and into a new spangly shiny one with more money and hours 😀 YAY!

Much Love

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‘Brain Dump’ 24/03/15

I need to stop, I am letting so much stuff build up that upsets me and I am taking it all out on the person who I care about most. The person who absolutely adores me, it’s breaking me in two.

I really don’t want to do this any more but in the moment I get so irritated at him trying to help me or keep pushing me to talk that I end up just yelling at him for talking sense or being nice to me. I’m upsetting him and it’s breaking my heart. Afterwards it feels like all I can do is apologise and want to hold him and tell him just how much he means to me, but then a few hours later its the exact same situation and I’m getting irritated and shouting about nothing. I want it to be ok, I want to be ok. Nothings been the same since Christmas and its breaking me. I want nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with him but we seem to spend more time arguing then anything else. I feel like I’m subconsciously pushing him away and I don’t know why I can’t just allow myself to be with him completely and be honest. Even after a year its still so hard for me.

As I write this he’s upstairs in my bed ill with food poisoning, I’ve even been snapping at him today cos I’ve had to wash duvets etc and I’m frustrated at the situation of him being sick. He deserves someone better then me, he really does.

Soulmate

“A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship,intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.” – Source: Wikipedia

The idea that somewhere in the world there exists one person specifically designed by a higher power just to spend their lives with you, it sounds so unrealistic. When I was younger I always thought it’d be easy, you meet someone in the street, fall in love and that’s it.

It took me a number of years to realise that if I wanted to meet someone I couldn’t just expect them to come to me I had to put myself out there. Even going as far as using online dating (I don’t think it has quite the taboo anymore with sites like Tinder and OK Cupid being so popular with people in their 20s and 30s.) Through that I spoke to a number of people, only meeting two of them, the second turned out to be my ‘soul mate’. I don’t use that word lightly, at all especially as this person was also my first ‘boyfriend’. Maybe your first love always feels like this. I just feel like I know, nothing else could come close to it. It just fits. Sexually, emotionally, even on a completely platonic level we can talk and it was so easy and comfortable. Even now over a year after we met sometimes when we kiss I have to remind myself to breathe. Is that just lust? That’s what so many ‘non believers’ try and convince us. It’ll all fade away and once it does you’ll hate the sight of each other. Maybe it will fade away, maybe in a few years we won’t be kissing or having sex on a regular basis. But I feel like there’s enough of a deep emotional connection there that it doesn’t matter. Even when we’re not ‘ripping each others clothes off with animalistic lust’ I still want to spend time with him. That I believe is what a soul mate is. Not just your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/husband/wife etc, but your best friend. The person who you call first thing after work or on your lunch break when you’ve had a tough day, just to hear their voice calms you. I’ve found that with him.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, marriage, children, whatever. But I do know that in this moment I’m willing to fight to be with him, it won’t always be simple but when it is, its so perfect that it makes everything so worth it.

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Dear 18 year old me

So where to start, things are gonna get a little bit crazy over the next few years. University starting, moving out, boys, sex, drink etc. Although if I’m honest more drink then we’d like and not nearly enough of the boys or sex.

First things first, the boy stuff. One guy will come along very soon, he’ll charm you and make you feel so so amazing. But please don’t get so caught up in him, I’m not gonna ruin things for you but please just don’t be naive when it comes to men. There will be plenty of time for ‘falling in love’ and finding the one in a few years time. Be confident, if you find a guy attractive, you go out and you kiss him, sleep with him. Nothing bad will happen, he might upset you for a week or two, then you’ll be back out there dancing with someone else. I promise you. You’ll regret not putting yourself out there so much more then the embarrassment of being turned down, trust me.

Now I don’t want to worry you, but you have to hear this…what you’re feeling sometimes, that horrible sadness that comes over you for no reason. Don’t blame yourself for it. You’re not weak, or ridiculous. It’s something you can’t control all the time but you can refuse to let it beat you. Take time out for a few hours, hell even a few days if you need it, lock yourself away and cry until you have no tears left. And then you get yourself out of that bed, shower and go and show the world how truly fabulous you are. Paint a fake smile on and the real one will follow. You have so much more strength then you think. You are truly beautiful, don’t be afraid to show it off.

Most importantly, the next few years will teach you so much. It’ll be an amazing rollercoaster ride that you will miss so much when it’s done. Enjoy every minute and try not to blow every penny of your student loan and overdraft before the end of term, it’ll make things a whole lot easier.

Love and kisses your older (slightly wiser) 25 year old self

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I can’t write anymore

I have all these lists of prompts that I love the sound of, so many ideas floating around my head but then when I sit down and try to get them into a coherent sentence; nothing. Or it sounds so awful that I just give up after ten minutes and delete the file. I’ve read about side effects of anti depressants etc and it can make people feel ‘numb’ but is it because of this I can’t write?

Maybe I’m just not meant to do this, maybe it’ll just be one of those things that I’ll always think ‘I’d love to do that’. I tried writing and I can’t even write enough to justify failing at it; which is so much worse. The past few weeks personally have been emotionally and mentally draining and just bizarre. I can’t seem to function properly, it’s the weirdest thing. I just don’t feel right. Not that I have a clue what ‘right’ is of course. It’d be nice to find a comfortable place but every things just changing right now and its taking me longer to adjust. I need to write now, if I get this job I went for yesterday I’ll barely have any free time left to do anything. Maybe one of those ‘free writing things’ where I just sit and type for 10 minutes without even thinking, see where it goes.

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